Evil clowns

Do they bring you joy or are they really just evil monsters?. Love them or hate them they can't be ignored. With there pale white dead skin and oversized grinning or frowning mouths they certainly are fascinating creatures.

Here's my top ten of some of the nastier ones on display:

1.Twisty the clown (American Horror Story)

The US's biggest clown organisation has complained that the latest series of the FX drama American Horror Story: Freak show is contributing to "clown fear". Thats right folks! really scary clowns are back in the public eye again and Twisty the clown is a real evil bugger that will give any one with Coulrophobia nightmares for ever.  Click here for a review

  2. Captain Spaulding

"Howdy folks!. You like blood? violence? freaks of nature? well come on down to Captain Spaulding's museum of monsters and madmen, see the alligator boy, ride my famous murder ride. Most of all, don't forget to take home some of my tasty fried chicken. Ha Ha! it just tastes so damn good". (Captain Spaulding).

Created by Rob Zombie and played by Sid Haig.

3. Pennywise

"Want your boat, Georgie?' Pennywise asked. 'I only repeat myself because you really do not seem that eager'. He held it up, smiling. he was wearing a baggy silk suit with great big orange buttons. A bright tie, electric-blue, flopped down his front, and on his hands were big white gloves, like the kind Mickey mouse and Donald duck always wore. (Stephen King).

Still from 1990 film It. Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace.

4. The Joker

The green hair. The crazed smile. The maniacal cackle. You know exactly who he is and how far he would go to put a smile on your face.

Not much is known about his past, but his acts during the present are what define the Joker as one of the greatest threats to our heroes and the people they've sworn to protect. He's killed a Robin, crippled Batgirl, and tortured and murdered countless people throughout the DC Universe. All just for a laugh. (Dc Comics).

5.  John Wayne Gacy

Notorious American serial killer known as the killer clown. Raped and murdered 33 teenage boys during the 1970's. He dressed as 'Pogo the clown' at charitable events to prey on his victims and spent 14 years on death row. He was finally executed on may 9th 1994 by lethal injection.

6. Ronald Mcdonald

Doing more to make the world a bigger place. The worlds largest food chain has been responsible for the decline of healthy living standards on a massive level. The fact that they use this weird looking clown to sell there fatty, high calorie and salted garbage to children must make him pure evil. Morgan Spurlocks 2004 Super size me documentary shows just what happens when you only eat Mcdonald's food for a month.

7. Dead silence clown

"Beware of the stare of Mary Shaw,

she has no children, only dolls.

If you see her in your dreams,

be sure you never, ever scream".

(or she'll rip your tongue out at the seams).

Dead silence. 2007. directed by James Wan.

8. The clown from Zombieland

Following on from the successful Shaun of the dead Zombieland is another zombie horror/comedy directed by Ruben Fleiscer in 2009. It's a zombie film folks! so i don't really need to go into the plot of the film, let's just say that the world is over run with the living dead and the remaining living are trying to avoid... well just being eaten, enough said!!!.

Why didn't the zombie eat the clown?.

Answer: Because he tasted funny.

9. Poltergeist clown

Directed by Tobe Hooper of Texas chainsaw massacre fame this 1982 film was a truly groundbreaking movie in it's day. Also written and produced by Steven Spielberg who in the 80's just simply had the Midas touch. Ok i admit that i saw this film again quite recently and did think it looked a bit naff now. Scarier when you are 10 years old.

10. Lou Jacobs

Born Johann Ludwig Jacob this real life clown performed for more than 60 years throughout America. The originator of the classic red rubber ball nose and credited with popularising the small clown car Honk Honk!!. In 1966 had the distinction of being the only living American to have his image on a U.S postage stamp. Ok, not a proper nasty man in real life but doesn't that high fore head and smile look just a bit sinister?.

Ok there are some clowns on this list that don't deserve to be on there. I did the list late last night and didn't have much time to ponder on it. So if anyone in La La Land can tell or remind me of better evil clowns  that are more worthy then i'll be happy to change some of them??.

And if Twisty and co isnt enough clown torture to wet you appetite then perhaps the new Eli Roth produced film Clown might fuel your need for more things clown shaped??.

Laters!!, Lewis x.